For many years, our son had massive behavior problems. He destroyed classrooms, hit teachers, and would throw huge temper tantrums that could last up to an hour. During this time, I busied myself reading every article and website, and was determined to calculate the cause of these behaviors. I tried countless supplements and changed his diets multiple times to no avail. No matter what I tried, his behavior only got worse. His behavior also began to affect my mental health. As an educator, I felt that I was supposed to have control over my child, and that he should not one of “those” kids, that tear up classrooms, and hit their teacher. These feeling spiraled me into a world wind of shame and I felt lost.
Even once we started the process of getting him diagnosed with ADHD, the shame still haunted me. I prayed over him regularly, anointed him with oil, but was so confused that his behavior was worse than ever. Was my sons behavior a work of the enemy? I really don’t know. But I do know that the enemy used it to sow doubt in me. Through prayer the Lord confirmed to me that He was doing a work in my son, and that I, because I did not anticipate the work of the enemy, was in a far more dangerous place than my son.
“Put in the full armor of God , so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes”- Ephesian 6:11
In the book of Ephesians, Peter finds himself in jail writing to the church he settled in the province of Ephesus. Ephesus, like many other Roman cities, had an idol worshiping problem. There main deity there was Athena, who’s temple was know as one of the seven wonders of the ancient world before it was destroyed in the 3rd century by invading Goth’s. So inevitably, Paul had to address old ways of living that were customary for Ephesian culture, and point new believers to living in a way that reflected Christ as their Lord and Savior.
In chapter 6 of the book of Ephesus, Paul personifies spiritual warfare through describing something he call the armor of God. He goes on the describe the virtues of truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation, all of which we as believers must carry with us to fend off the enemy. While we as Christian know this to be true, we are often bewildered when the fight actually comes, and often don’t even recognize it as a fight.
I can’t tell you how many times trouble has risen in my life, or even all out hell has broken loose. During this time I’m too often pacing the edges of my mind in search of a solution or explanation, forgoing even the notion that it very well might be the work of the enemy.
So what is there to do? For me, anticipating the work of the enemy means taking account of all that I have that might be rattled. I’ll start with my marriage. I know that if my husband says something unkind to me, my flesh can be easily stirred to ungodly anger. So what do I do? I first make a plan on paper or in my head for the next time. Even though my husband might have say something unwise, that doesn’t give me an excuse to not follow Jesus.
The first thing I’ll do is pray that all ungodly anger stop, and that the Lord would align me to his will through faith, truth, righteousness, peace, and salvation. I would also pray for my husband, and that the Lord would convict him if I decide not to address it, or that he would ready his heart to hear me out if I decide to address it. Lastly, I’ll confirm the promises of God in scripture. James 1 19-2 says “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
These steps can be used in times of anxiety or depression as well.
As for my son, he is doing well and thriving now. His behavior is not perfect, and I’m ok with that. I wholeheartedly believe that the Lord is still doing a work in him.
